Accepting Failure

Sophie Baldwin, 5/7/24

I was a bull in a china shop. During the summer after my junior year, I began a research internship at a college laboratory. While most of the other interns were college or graduate students, I was merely a high schooler with no prior experience. I seemed to mess up even the smallest details, like putting a cap down the wrong way or throwing out a pipet in the wrong bin. I began to wonder if I even deserved to be there. 

My lab instructor saw me struggling to find my place and asked if I wanted to help with one of the experiments the lab was running. We were stimulating hyperglycemic conditions in roundworms by feeding them glucose-based agar. After the experiment, the worms would be genetically tested for biomarkers associated with Type II Diabetes. Fascinated, I jumped at the chance to be a part of the experiment. 

When I observed the worms under the microscope, I was awed. They were barely visible to the naked eye, yet slithered like sea monsters under the microscope. I breathed a sigh of relief, reassured that they were alive; I knew it was my job to keep them that way. For the next two weeks, I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into the worms.

When the time came to extract the RNA from the worms, I was riddled with anxiety. I knew I did everything I could to care for the worms, but with science, you can never be too sure. When my instructor told me that the samples had been contaminated, I was shocked. I teared up out of frustration. How could I mess this up?

A conversation with my instructor helped me to realize that this is what science is about. Though you can do everything to the best of your ability, sometimes experiments just might not work out. Science is not about getting it right the first try; it is about revising over and over until it works. 

We decided to repeat the experiment. Though I was frustrated that my hard work over the last few weeks had gone to waste, I was determined to get it right this time. I made sure to triple-check every measurement, every label, and every petri dish. This time, by the end of the two weeks, there was no contamination and the experiment worked. Though I was relieved, a little part of me felt sad that it was over.

My grandmother, who was a medical school professor, would tell me that if something can go wrong in an experiment, it will. But, that is not necessarily a bad thing. Einstein didn’t theorize Quantum Mechanics overnight, so why should I expect an experiment to perform flawlessly the first time? I love science because it is not about getting everything right all the time. I find purpose in improving the journey, not reaching the destination. That is the mindset of a scientist.